depressionnap | expiation inbox

[ his experiments. how much of what had been done to vincent had been used later in sephiroth's development? is it sephiroth's fault that vincent had been through what he'd suffered at hojo's hands? after all, if there exists a final product, there must have been prototypes.

and, again.. how much does he believe of any of this? how much should he believe the professor? it's hard to imagine that soft look on vincent's face when he talks about sephiroth's mother is fake, though. ]

Because you think I'll be disgusted, or because you are? There isn't much that shocks me anymore.

I would aim to spare you of additional horrors Hojo has created under his delusions of grandeur. I know you are not without experience to what he's capable of, or what the world holds, but I take no joy in subjecting you to the results of his work.

[Even if it is but a sliver of it, traces of his humanity stolen -- even if there is some wretched poetry to it in that a man who has sinned so terribly should be such a beast.]

But as I said before, you may ask me anything.

[So, if Sephiroth really wants to see what is under the gauntlet, Vincent would not refuse him.]

[ he should ask to see it. sephiroth thinks he'd probably recognize the professor's signature if it's there, and that would then prove at least one thing here is the truth. but on the other hand, vincent had said that a lot's already been taken from him, and if that's so.. sephiroth doesn't want to be the one to take one more thing away from him. especially if vincent is only doing any of this because he thinks he owes sephiroth's mother.

he hesitates, then slides his hand out of vincent's, turning the gauntlet between both of his own, expression thoughtful. ]

We're both here, so that's why you're talking to me.. but what about at home? Where are you? .. Have you tried to.. talk to me..?

[A brief pained look flashes over Vincent's eyes, but he does not look away from Sephiroth. How much he should say, but assure it is not meant as an excuse -- it's difficult. Regardless, Vincent will give him the truth of it.]

For a very long time, I was in the laboratory in Nibelheim. There were... several years that choice was robbed of me. Hojo was all too glad to keep me informed of your growth and conditioning.

I thought it best after a time to pay penance for my sins, for being unable to do anything for you and your mother. I am... [Now he looks down to his gauntlet, fingers flexing.] I no longer age. If I had an eternity to dwell in my nightmares, then so be it.

[ oh. that.. makes sense, he supposes. the professor had eventually chosen to stop gloating, and by that time, the thing keeping vincent away was.. his sense of guilt? to think he was in nibelheim when sephiroth was there, too.

but what could vincent have done, really, if he'd tried to go to sephiroth? he'd been kept in the most secure location in the world, under lock and key. they were never meant to meet in their world. sephiroth is shinra property, and the woman vincent had loved is long-dead. ]

You shouldn't do that. [ his fingers tighten around the gauntleted hand briefly, then ease open again, hands returning to his lap. ] If you have a long time, eternity even, then you should do something good with it. There are-- [ his lips press thin, thinking of rosen, of all the people of rhadore-- dead because of a reactor, dead for no reason. ] There are a lot of people out there that need someone strong.

[What a stark difference from the destructive potential that Sephiroth could become. For him to suggest to Vincent here and now how he could do good by others instead, that Sephiroth would desire that...

This is the Sephiroth he wants to preserve. A young man who does, ultimately, wish to do the right thing. He's just been denied the opportunity.]

Don't worry. I did leave it, eventually. As for what I'll do next... maybe I'll take your suggestion into consideration.

[ he straightens a little at the agreement, startled in spite of himself. it's one thing to be obeyed in the field-- he was made for war, given the strength and power and rank to command shinra's troops. this isn't that. this isn't a battlefield, and vincent isn't one of his subordinates. no one else has ever so consistently cared about sephiroth's opinion. for that matter, sephiroth has never so openly dared to have opinions. it's a lot to adjust to.

the usually-solemn line of his mouth twitches upward faintly at the corners. ] I'm glad. I'm sure Mother would have been, too.

[Ah. The mention of her makes Vincent pause, and his eyes close, brows knitted. He'd like to think that would be true, but most of all it pains him that he couldn't help her. If Vincent failed Lucrecia, then how could he possibly be of aid to others? But then, he hasn't remained completely idle by following Cloud's path.

His eyes open, and he thinks of Sephiroth's small smile. Still just a young man, still sane, still wanting to do right.]

I'm sure you're right.

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